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Mollywobbles
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Joined: 10/25/2009

Had fried rice and sweet and sour pork. One word

Yuck.

*blech*

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#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED

Mollywobbles
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Joined: 10/25/2009

Entry #9
May 27, 2010 (FMLA = you "F*cked my life, a**holes")

"Under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), you will have 12 weeks of job-protected leave with benefits."

"Secure a long-term sub that you can trust."

"Try to maximize your leave-time, but try not to make it a financial liability."

"Blah, blah, blah..."

*shit*

I'm already beginning to see how this pregnancy is going to affect me professionally. In other words-- teacher MATERNITY LEAVE. Dreadful. This profession, in no way makes it easy for us to have babies nor do they care about our happiness as a mother and/or teacher.

So here I am looking at next year's school calendar wearing my "teacher hat" AND "mother hat". While doing all this, I'm thinking of (in no specific order):

1. Labor laws
2. Union agreements
3. Financial hardships on my family (salary and benefits)
4. The welfare of my co-workers
5. The welfare of my long-term substitute teacher
6. The welfare of my students and their families
7. The welfare of my child
8. The welfare of my family
9. My own sanity and welfare

This is how teacher-maternity works for my school district:

-First, I will use up my sick-pay, which for me is about 23 unused days.
-Then, once sick-pay is exhausted, differential-pay will be in effect where they will take away the cost of a substitute teacher ($135 per day) from my salary.

So, I'm in quite a predicament here.

__________________

#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED

Mollywobbles
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Joined: 10/25/2009

Two words

runny nose.

aka Pregnancy Rhinitis

Why...

__________________

#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED

Mollywobbles
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Joined: 10/25/2009

Entry #10
June 4, 2010

My first maternity product-- the Leachco Back 'N Belly - Contoured Body Pillow - Ivory. I've been having one hell of a time sleeping-- tossing, turning, adjusting, and waking up only to feel slightly rested and pretty achy. You see, I'm a stomach and back sleeper. Stomach sleeping-- totally out of the question with these breasts feeling like tenderized chicken cutlets. So, I prefer to sleep on my back, but with all this damned reading I've been doing (Google is the devil) about how back-sleeping cuts blood flow to the uterus, blah, blah, blah, I've been hit with the paranoid stick-- half sleeping, half consciously trying to stay off my back in bed.

Now granted, it's probably too early in my pregnancy to be worrying about this, but research, googling, reading, and "forum-ing" has done made me bat-sh*t crazy. So here I am, in desperation, waiting for my maternity pillow-- internet watching, refreshing every couple minutes to see if it has been shipped.

*sigh*

__________________

#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED

Mollywobbles
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Joined: 10/25/2009

CANNOT stomach dairy, especially drinking milk.

*blech*

__________________

#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED

Mollywobbles
Offline
Joined: 10/25/2009

Entry #11
June 9, 2010

I'm on a mission. I'm on a mission to be fit during this pregnancy. So, I purchased several things:

1. A semi-cute maternity swimsuit
2. Lindsay Brin's Pregnancy DVD: Yoga, Cardio & Toning: Trimesters 1, 2, 3

Now normally, I hate swimming. Well no, I love swimming, but hate how I look in the attire required from swimming. When I swim, I get in the pool ASAP and get out ASAP so to give nothing for eyes to feast on. And boy, do I prefer a night swim over a broad daylight swim. Now that I've got reason to be a bit more plump, I say "to hell with it". People are going to have to deal. So, I'll be taking morning water aerobic classes now that school's out for summer.

Above all, I'd rather do exercise fully clothed. Prior to pregnancy, I frequented the gym several times a week-- cardio, weights, aerobics, yoga, etc. Operative phrase-- prior to pregnancy. Well, now with this perpetual feeling of being on a tiny boat in the middle of a stormy sea and being ill at the slightest smells of body odor, I cannot bear the thought of going to the gym. So for now, I'm resorting to workout DVDs at home. Let me tell you, Lindsay Brin's pregnancy workouts are good. She has designed three DVDs custom made for each trimester. I did "1st Trimester" today, and I was totally impressed. Brin seems knowledgeable about pregnancy fitness, designs an effective cardio/strength/yoga routine, and most importantly, is not annoying one bit.

So, I've vowed to myself to be fit, to eat right, and to gain the least amount of weight without compromising the health of this baby. I have a feeling I'm going to stick to it. For now. Check in with me in a couple days.

*Namaste*

__________________

#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED

Mollywobbles
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Joined: 10/25/2009

Entry #12
June 10, 2010 (My official prenatal appointment)

Once upon a time (refer to Entry #7), I saw my OB at Week 6 because of a scare. Everything turned out OK. Well, just recently, I visited the office on better terms-- for my first official prenatal appointment at Week 10. *jazz hands*

They did a full examination (btw, I lost 1 lb. What?!) and an U/S.

Now this kid has grown, let me tell you. It's about the size of an olive, the OB says. I beg to differ because not only does my iPhone app. say that it's the size of a prune (1.5 inches), but the way it's affecting my life, it has to be a size of a watermelon by now. Kidding.

It's heart rate is 169 bpm, which is normal at this stage-- so fun to see the heart flutter on the screen. And, I don't know if it's possible, but I swear it straight waved at us to say "Hi mom! Hi dad! And, hi lady with the probe!" Advanced, I tell you. Now my husband SWEARS it's a boy, and in response to this wave he says, "Oh, he's a lefty! That's good." *eye roll* Let me explain.

He dreams of having three boys (over my dead body). One to join the seminary to become a priest, one as a "spare" (not exactly his words), and one he will raise to be a major league pitcher. Yeah... he's crazy. Well, sure enough the supposed arm movement we saw came from the left side of his body. He's over the moon, while I'm there looking at the screen thinking, "Holy crap... we did it!"

__________________

#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED

Mollywobbles
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Joined: 10/25/2009

Entry #13
June 12, 2010 (Don't hate me.)

I hold an unpopular view these days, so I very well may offend people with this post. But, I just cringe at the phrase, "We're pregnant." Sorry, but when I hear an expectant mother say that, I have this incredible urge to blurt out, "Umm... he's not pregnant, you're pregnant. And, the subject pronoun 'we' implies that *both* of you are carrying a child which is biologically impossible for the male doesn't have the correct anatomy to do so." I never do though, but I do play it out in my head.

I know... I'm such an @$$hole. I told my husband that I will never ever use that phrase nor will he. Yes, he feels the ramifications of my pregnancy (i.e. the mood swings, late night runs to the bagel shop to fulfill my "friendly" request for a bagel and schmear, the sleep disruption when I use the bathroom at 3am, etc.), but he, himself, is not personally experiencing the pregnancy. His body is not morphing into something that is no longer his. His stomach and entrails aren't trying to force their way out every morning. *I'm* experiencing all this.

Gah... I'm such an @$$, right? I'll blame it on the hormones. Hormones say the darnedest things, don't they?

__________________

#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED

Mollywobbles
Offline
Joined: 10/25/2009

Entry #14
June 15, 2010

What do you say to someone who has been having a difficult time TTC? I've been there, but I just don't know what to say. I feel like whatever I say will just be weak or contrived, and possibly offensive. I remember what people would say to me month after failed month-- things that comforted me, things that pissed me off.

I remember the cycle of failure, then hope, failure, then hope-- and how lonely it was. Hardcore TTC is an isolating experience. I didn’t want anyone to know that we were having trouble. I didn't want to talk to anyone, because people would say stupid ignorant sh*t like:

-It’ll happen when you’re not trying.
-Aren’t you guys “practicing”?
-Just relax. It’ll happen.

I didn’t want to hear that sh*t because I knew g*d-d*mned well that they didn’t know what the f*ck they were talking about and to whom they were saying this to.

So to escape (and also to gain a better understanding of my situation), I immersed myself in hours and hours of research, reading, charting, monitoring, and "forum-ing", isolating me further and further way. How could anyone I knew personally possibly understand my heartache? People around me were either:

A. having children with no difficulty
B. not trying to have children yet
C. keeping their fertility issues a secret

But, there was one phrase that gave me much comfort-- a simple "I'm here for you" from someone who has walked a mile in my shoes. And, that is why I value these forums so much. I was able to seek advice and find solace from those who walked a mile (or ten-fold more) in my shoes. I was able to voice out my frustrations and sadness to those who didn’t know me personally, but knew and felt my story. This is my community.

So, what do I say to a colleague/friend who has turned to me for help? I see the desperation in her eyes. I hear the urgency in her voice as if her time is running out. I don’t know what to say. But, all I feel comfortable saying is that I’m here for her and that I love her. It was enough for me. I hope it’s enough for her.

__________________

#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED

Mollywobbles
Offline
Joined: 10/25/2009

Entry #15
June 18, 2010 (And, then there were three.)

Birth and death come in three. Weird how that is, right? Well, as mentioned in entry #2, a close friend of mine (Mia) is expected to give birth a week before me. Now, I find out from a male friend from high school (JR) that his wife (Jane) is pregnant and is due a couple days before me.

Both sets have made the news quite public, while I still keep my cards close. A dozen people know:

-my mom
-my brother
-6 friends
-my boss
-3 colleagues

We'll make it public late July, maybe even August when we know its gender.

__________________

#1 "Wobbles" born 1/1/11
#2 "Wobbles" born 9/20/13
2017 TTC #3, DH with Type 2 Diabetes and ED