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Joined: 03/14/2010

right now i am very shy to say this ugh! but i need some help. yesterday and today my hubby been having problems when we are about to BD , i don't want to give to much details but its hard for him to get hard ( i am talking like this because all of us here are grown ) his been taking fertilaid for men for about 5 weeks now and before this we had no problem . He thinks the pills are the cause of this problem but the thing is he smokes alot and he sometimes drinks alcohol , and he also been gaining to much weight his eating so much that when we have sex i usually don't feel anything! i am not trying to embarres him i am just seeking for some honest answers he has been freaking out about this lately and this is the 1st time this has EVER happened , what could this be? i am what can we do to solve this problem?????? =/ we are ttc and this is making it hard and i am getting very frustrated!


faith is something all we need

Joined: 04/24/2009

Hi Faithful,
Sorry that things are tough right now!! The smoking and drinking could possibly be causing some of the problem. Do you think it could also be the stress and pressure of TTC? Do you think he would be willing to talk to a doctor about it?
Just wanting to send you hugs!
Smile Elizabeth


Keiki's picture
Joined: 10/31/2009


I agree with Elizabeth, especially about the drinking. I think in some men, it makes it hard for them to get or maintain an erection. Sounds like your DH is under stress, and maybe not just related to TTC. I doubt it is the fertile aid, but if he thinks it is, maybe he would feel better if he stops taking it? TTC can be very tough on a relationship, and our DH's are under the gun to perform. You may want to take a look at the last few postings in the 2WW thread, becuase some of hte ladies have been discussing that at time their DH's have performance anxiety. Sorry things are tough right now, I hope they get better Smile


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Orchid's picture
Joined: 02/17/2010

Hey Faithful,

Just thought I would chime in because this can be a very embarressing/sensitive topic but I'm realizing that it is (I think) more common than people talk about. My DH and I struggle with this issue too. He wants a baby more than anything, but when it comes time to BD, especially if he knows I'm ovulating, we have had issues sometimes with him being able to get hard and every once in awhile staying hard.

For us, oral has always done the trick but I get concerned because I've read saliva can interfere with sperm so usually we try using preseed on him or relaxing for a few minutes, talking about other things, and then starting back in with foreplay etc. As a last resort we have used oral to get started because I figure its better than not getting any of his swimmers in there at all!! Big smile

I realized the biggest key is not to freak out!!! Don't make a big deal about it around him, because I'm sure he's already embaressed or anxious about the fact that it happened and the bigger a deal he thinks it is to you, the more anxious it will make him. At least that's how it is for my DH. It is definately a mind game for him, so if we can manage to get his mind actually off of it, then suddenly he's ready to go!! Wink

Hope that helps


Joined: 04/09/2010

Hi Faithful,

I agree with the alcohol and the smoking. My husband used to drink and smoke and he was over weight years ago. It took us 19 years to conceive our first child- he is 4 now, we are working on the 2nd one. I just went off the pill the a week ago or so. I am crossing my fingers for the near future. I did order Fertile CM and Pre seed to try and move us along.
Maybe all the stress is hard for your husband. I hope it all works out for you.

Joined: 04/22/2010

When TTC we've experienced the same thing. So our trick is that I don't tell him it's OV time. So I make sure to BD at other times of the month too. It's all mental so I think just "not knowing" is enough for them lol. HTH! GL and wishing you a baby soon!