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HALEY ADAMS
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I just found that my sister is pregnant.  I am very happy for her, but man I wish that it was me as well.  She got pregnant by accident.  All she has to do is look at her hubby and boom she's prego.  I am excited to have another neice or nephew, but I hope that this is my month as well.  Is it bad for me to be jealous?  I am so frustrated.

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horsegirl
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Haley~ Jealousy is understandable. It doesn't make you a bad person at all. I have had very similar 'guilty' jealous feelings towards good friends who have recently gotten pregnant - especially with one friend in particular who had a MAJOR 'oops, I'm pregnant...again... not sure how this happened...' Seeing friends, family and loved ones get pregnant with little (or no) effort when you are trying so hard and getting those BFNs month after month is so HARD. Even people I don't know are targets for my 'envy glare'. I hope that your month comes soon, Haley, and that I get to be jealous of your BFP Wink Wishing you lots of baby dust!!

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stardust1011
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Oh haley, although I know you are happy for your sister, when you are trying for something you want so badly yourself, its completely natural to feel jealousy. Its not that you don't want her to be pregnant, you just want it sooo badly for yourself. I get so frustrated by people I don't even know who are pregnant. And it seems like everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant.. on tv, see more baby related things... it drives me nuts because I'm not there yet. This weekend so many couples had children of thier own (thankfully no one was preggo!) and I soo enjoyed being around the children. One particularly bonded with me and I called him my little buddy. How I can't wait for a son of my own... or a daughter! A BABY! Its very frustrating. I find myself trying to figure out reasons why I am deserving of a child and almost judging others.. why should they be able to get PG and not me. I hate it about myself, but sometimes you just think it without realzing it. I am crossing my fingers that this is your month and you can enjoy being pregnant together!

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Elizabeth
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Hi Haley, I think it is perfectly normal!!!! I know for me I often have to put on a "happy face" at baby showers! They are so hard for me!!! Smile Elizabeth

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kokopelli3
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Joined: 07/07/2009

My friend and I started TTC around the same time. She went to Hawaii for 2 weeks and got preggo - it was her 2nd try. I'm on month 7. I feel so guilty when I feel jealous of her, because I really am happy for her. But sometimes I really don't want to see pictures of the bassinets she's considering!

So far, 9 people at work are pregnant. My friend is annoyed about the most recent one, because she got pregnant on accident, and she is still doing all the no-no's for a mom-to-be: drinking, smoking, eating fish, etc. It's really hard not to think "But I haven't had a kid, and she has 3! But I've taken folic acid for months! But I recycle! I donate to animal shelters!, or whatever So, of course my friend's kindness and sympathy REALLY makes me feel bad about feeling a little resentful towards her!!! lol!

Then, there was the time I got 2 faint lines that wound up being false positives. I was a week late, so I really started getting hopeful. Then the monthly visitor arrived, and I was devastated. To top it off, every Friday after that, people brought their brand new babies in to work to visit. I hid in the copier room!!! I can laugh about it now, but jealousy did not even describe it!!

So, it's definitely okay to be jealous. Just be there for your sister as much as you can, but of course take some time for yourself if it gets too hard.

Wishing you the best of luck!

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***Jen
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stardust1011
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I find myself really hating myself sometimes for I find more and more I am judging people with babies and why I should be the one with a baby. It comes out of nowhere... Crazy this evil thought comes into my brain concerning so many people... why was she allowed to have a child and not me? What don't I have that she does? We look for a reason any reason that we are not PG ourselves and want so badly to hate those who are. My good friend who tried for years to get PG and finally got PG through IVF once told her doctors if she was a meth addict and on welfare she probably would have ten kids by now.... a very drastic overstatement but now I can understand the emotional state she was in when she said it.

I only hope when I finally become PG I remember who hard it was trying for my blessed miracle. You want to be the lady who shows off her baby because for us it took soo much work to get our babies... Its the ones who are like OOPS, but look what I have that drives nails down the chalkboard!! They just don't understand and they make me the maddest and then I have to go retreat in my happy corner so those evil thoughts stay away!!!! Tongue

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HALEY ADAMS
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Yep, I felt so blessed when I had my daughter. It took 4 years to have her and I didn't think I would ever be a mother. I am at the point if it doesn't happen again, I will be fine because I have my little miracle baby. I work in a hospital so I had to go to O.B. a lot and I would see all these women on drugs and do the drug testing on the little babies. I about went crazy from it. It just wasn't fair and I started blaming God for it all. I finally found some peace about it and it happened about 6 months or so later. I am having a hard time not being that way this time, but I try to remember that God loves me and as along as I do what I am suppose to do by him, that it is his promise to answer my prayers. He doesn't say when it will happen though. I just continue to pray for peace and healing for my body. Thanks for responding, I just hate feeling jealous of my sister. I have come to terms with it and can't wait to meet my new neice or nephew.

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