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michaella
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Joined: 05/24/2010

Hi Butterfly99
Thanks a lot for showing your support. I have never tried accupunture, maybe I have to try it. As for IVF I cannot afford it as of now. My health insurance does not cover IVF. DH is the one who keeps me going because he has so much faith, I dont know where I would be without him. Sometimes I just lock myself up in the bathroom and cry till all my tears dry up. The ttc journey for me has been not easy. I hope this year is our year.

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butterfly99
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Amen sister. Smile I do the same thing, in the bathroom, at my office, wherever the tears come... thank God for strong DHs!
Have you talked to your doctor about an IUI? My doctor says it would be our next step- and I know many women who are either going that direction or have gone that direction and achieved pregnancy. I'm not sure it's for us yet, just trying to give it more time, but we'll see. It's a LOT cheaper than IVF. Prayers for strength and hope, and baby dust to you!!

michaella
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Joined: 05/24/2010

hi Butterfly
Today I am in a very good mood , I dont know why maybe its because of the world cup. DH is a soccer fan so all we talk about these dayz is the world cup. As for IUI I will try it in Jan next year if I am not pg by the end of this year. I told my mother that we are ttcing some few months ago and she so happy because she ad been bothering me about giving her a grandchild. So she tells me what t eat and what not to eat, how much I should exercise and most of all that I should pray to God. Last week I went to a baby expo and they were selling nice baby clothes and toys and everything that a baby needs and I was so hurt because I couldnt buy any of those nice things. Faith keeps me going. baby dust to you!!!!!

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butterfly99
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Hi Micky-
Two very good friends of mine are at the world cup! I have to admit I am slightly jealous, but DH and I are going to Italy at the end of the month so I imagine we'll be surrounded by football fans, and Italy isn't so bad either. hehe. Smile Sometimes it's great to have sporting events to take our minds off TTC even for a minute (I am a huge Blackhawks fan, and was so happy last night they won the Cup).
Glad to hear you opened up to your mom, I hope she's been supportive (we did the same thing with DH's mom over mothers day and it was like a weight lifted off because she really wants us to have kids too). Regarding the expo, that does stink when you feel stuck like that...I've actually allowed myself to purchase a few items that spoke to me and I think that is OK. I have this adorable little stuffed animal (lamb) that I bought in New Zealand and I tell it that it will meet its owner someday. And if we never get pg, then it will make a great gift for a niece or nephew. Or I might just keep it for myself. haha.
Where are you in your cycle now?

gujomia
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Joined: 05/20/2010

Hi Michaella and Lori! I am so thankful for the sports right now too to distract my mind! So happy for the Blackhawks too - yeh! Big smile I got a BFN this morning and your lamb story almost made me cry, so I'm pretty sure AF is just around the corner...

Michaella, I wish I had half of your strength! There has to be a reason why God makes us wait so long and our time will come! I am going to set a deadline for next year too to start IUI if we aren't successful this year. My insurance doesn't cover IVF so that isn't an option any time soon.

Lori - wow Italy?!? That is an awesome vacation! I think the romance of the country will be just what you and DH need to restore your faith! Will you O while you're there? Or are you still taking a break while you're gone? Lots of people conceive on vacation you know Wink

I have a question for you - a couple of posts back you mentioned DH was taking L- Carnitine. What brand and how much? DH passed his SA in all categories except morphology, so need to improve his numbers in that department! Thanks Smile

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butterfly99
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Hi Gia, aw shux on PMS and the BFN... I hope AF is not right around the corner for you though! How many DPO are you today?
I just went to Wal-Mart and got the brand they had there... I think GNC sells it too, or you can get it online...the brand "Now" makes a 1000mg tab, so that might be worth it even though it's a little spendier. We recently ran out of it but the next time I'm at Walmart I will get more and let you know the details- I just had DH follow the directions on the bottle, and it wasn't super expensive or anything. You could also just get the FertilAid for men which has it in there. I felt bad for DH because at one point I had him taking 8 pills/day! haha. He felt like an old man. If your DH is up to it, doing a cleanse might be good for him- colon/liver/kidney... toxins in the body can impact morphology so good to rid the body of them...always eat only organic meat and dairy too. Smile

I do like the idea of the deadline... at least that gives you a goal/target as to when to take the next step!

For us, we actually at one point had decided that we would stop trying altogether after March of this year if we weren't pg by then. Of course March came and went with another negative, and we decided at that time that by saying we would stop trying in March, that was our timeline not Gods... so here we are still trying. But I do think after we get back from Italy we will reassess, I don't know how much longer I can walk this road. Yes, I will ovulate on our vacation... so who knows! I'm not taking OPKs with me and am going to try and enjoy the vacation for what it is, and if we happen to BD around O time then great...It would be nice to come back with a bean. Smile November will mark 2 years for us, and I think at that point I might be ready to call it quits. we'll see.

michaella
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Joined: 05/24/2010

HI Gia and Butterfly.
Gia ttc teaches you to be strong and patient. Before I got married I never that I would survive if I fail to have kids because I have always loved kids but here I am six years of ttcing and I am still VERY ALIVE. My health insurance also doesnt cover IVF so we will have to do IUI, not this year though but early next year. If that fails then we will consider IVF.

Butterfly I dont think you should give up, just try to hold on. I know it is not easy but we are here for you. Enjoy yourself in Italy and forget about ttcing. When you come back you would have rested and you will be ready to continue with your journey.

Today its 10DPO. I have been having PMS symptoms and I guess I am not pg. I am not going to test because I dont want to be disappointed AGAIN. I will have to wait for AF on saturday. DH wants me to test but will not because getting a BFN really hurts. One can never get used to getting a BFN, I have been getting them for the past 75months but each month the feeling is the same or even worse than the previous month ,it hurts. I havent been taking my fertilaid tablets the correct way for the last couple of days because sometimes I just tell myself that there is no hope but thank God for DH who is always optmistic. Maybe this year is our year like he always say.

Please God give me a sign before I lose my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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gujomia
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Hi Michaella did AF come? FX that she stayed away! I know I don't know how I manage to bounce back everymonth. It kills me everytime I get a BFN. Every month I spend AF in misery researching what I can do differently and buying more crap to assist conception Tongue

Lori - thanks for all the info on L-Carnitine I will get DH taking some ASAP! That and Clomid are my new tools for this month Cool Hope you are living blissfully unaware of your cycle and relaxing Smile At least you will be able to drink lots of Italian wine!

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michaella
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Hi Gia
AF is not here yet she is due on saturday. Good luck with clomid. Baby dust to you

Chaella

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butterfly99
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Gia- great cocktail for success- clomid for you L-Carnitine for DH!! hehe. I hope it works!
I think it's amazing how we all bounce back, month after month...although I may lose more sanity and heart in the process. oyvay.
As far as living blissfully unaware, I don't think that is possible...I'm so in tune to my body, every twinge, o pain, CD... I don't think I can ever go back to blissfully unaware. haha. I had to go to the dr yesterday and they asked me if I knew when my last period was...uh, yep I sure do! (do you want the exact time it started too? no? oh...). Smile haha!