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rabbitbaby
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I'm sure this is TMI, but I'm just so upset. We tried, but he couldn't do it. We've lost this month entirely.

He didn't need surgery, but he's so wiped out from it all.

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rabbitbaby
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"o" day. Dpo 0.
He was ' up' for it this morning!! I hope we didn't miss the boat. Wish I knew when ovulation occurs and how long spermy's journey takes. Now it's the official 2 week wait. We used pressed, and he was saving up for 4 days, so i am hopeful, but doubtful, like most months...

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rabbitbaby
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1 DPO.

I think I will start acupuncture soon if I don't get pg this cycle. I'm so frustrated that I can do and plan anything in my life thus far, except for this. It's been a year of trying as of March. So a full 12 months ( - 3 b/c he was away, and - 2 b/c I actually had a m/c in there) and I was really expecting to be expecting by now Sad

I'll be 37 years old in Sept. and we want 2 children. I kind of want twins. Fertility appointment in april or may is warranted. I think we need IUI, just get those swimmers up there at the right time once and for all! I think that they just don't get to the right place, and this will help. It's only about $500, well worth it.

I'm so obviously not expecting anything from this cycle. But of course as the time til testing nears, I'll sure be testing!

Of to work.

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rabbitbaby
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2 DPO.

Time moves soooo slowly. I just keep looking at my calendar and counting the days until I can test. I know my neurosis is not going to help, and may hinder, a successful pregnancy, but I don't know how to stop with the OCD over this.

I may need help, probably a good distraction. I will try to keep life full. Should be some epic powder to ski on my days off!

Ah, I've got to get back to yoga too. Tomorrow...

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rabbitbaby
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3 DPO

I've been trying to do bbt, but only sometimes, however I've been doing them since the 14th, and that's the day of my surge. Only, my temp was 97.1 that morning, and every day since has been 97.7,97.4, and today 98.2. I slept with pjs on last night, which I don't normally, so maybe I'm a little warmer. But I'm worried that the opk's are wrong, and I actually ov'd on the 14th, and not the 15th. Sad, b/c we only bd'd once, on the 15th am, and I'm sure that you can't get pregnant after the egg has been released the day before.

I hope bbt is wrong. And I can't really keep it up for next month either, going away for 9 days and with no privacy. I guess we'll just wing it, IF we get a chance to bd next month, and if not, well then I'll do everything for April. So much for a 2011 baby Sad I'm such a pessimist.

I guess I still have time, really, I can have a baby at 38, 39, 40, perhaps even after that. There's time. RELAX. Just going to be one of those really tired, "is this your grandchild?" kind of mom's. If my (hypothetical) kids can grow up to take care of me when I'm old, then it will all be worth it Smile

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rabbitbaby
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6 Dpo

Well, nothing to report, hopefully today, tomorrow, or the next day will be implantation! Testing in 4 more days.

I was drinking a little too much tequila on the w/e, I hope this doesn't have any effect on baby making. I don't drink very often, but this was a bit of binge. I know too many people who have had wonderful children and also really like their drink, so I'm really not worried. Who knows, maybe it will even increase my odds Smile

I can't imagine being pregnant, like beyond just a little embryo. I don't really feel that I'm worthy of producing such a miracle. I wonder if I have to rid those thoughts before I ever get one. Probably not, because I know a lot of women who have no self esteem, and still manage to make babies!

It's a crap shoot, let's hope we roll the dice right this month!

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mrshouse
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Good luck! I have been stalking your blog a little, or a lot... but anyways... I hope this is your month. FX!

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rabbitbaby
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Aww, thanks mrshouse! Where are you at in your journey?

Dpo 7.

I went skiing all day, beauty, and didn't even think much about this 2 ww. I was checking for signs of sore boob in the shower after, nada.

I usually do have some soreness, so I don't know what that means. Other wise, the usual. Maybe implantation will take place today, or tomorrow. I am going to try to hold off testing until saturday, 11 dpo.

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rabbitbaby
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DPO 8

I'm encouraged, only slightly. Last night, when I get up to pee, I felt that my breasts were a little heavier than normal. When I was pregnant before, I had to literally hold my girls while I walked to the washroom. I just really hope that it feels more like that tonight. However, I often get this symptom before AF is due. Something to do with the progesterone, I think, which is up pregnant or not, until AF shows. She's due on Mar.2, in one more week. Of course, I'll be testing well before that!

I am going to try to avoid testing tomorrow, it's just too soon for disappointment. I will TRY to not test on the next day, and wait til 11 DPO, scary. SCARY ~ what if I test on day 11 and it's negative Sad I tested last time I was pg on day 11 and it was positive, so if it's not this time, I'll just feel bad until AF comes. Ahhh, hating this next week!!

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smile4us
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I'M REALLY TRYING THIS MONTH WITH THE CHARTING AND EVERYTHING I HOPE I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY SOON. Big smile

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