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mandy
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Joined: 12/23/2009

Comments are totally welcome!

I figure since this seems to be becoming on longer journey than planned I might as well start my own blog! Here's my story so far:

I am 29 and DH is 34. We have been married for 3 years. Started TTC baby #1 in October of 2009. I have always had a regular cycle and assumed it would happen very quickly. It took us 6 months (which felt long at the time) to finally get that BFP. We were blessed with a beautiful baby girl on December 1st, 2010. She was delivered via c-section because she was footling breach. We found out after the delivery that this was because I have a uterine septum (heart-shaped uterus) so she wasn't able to turn. My doc assured me that this was no big deal other than the fact that any future pregnancies would likely result in the same situation.

After DD turned 1 we decided to stop preventing pregnancy this past January expecting it would take another good 6 months or so. Well, first cycle we only BD'd once and my period was 5 days late. I refused to test because I thought it was impossible but bam...BFP! Needless to say I was shocked (and a little freaked out at first). Once the shock wore off I was very excited. But unfortunately 2 days later I started spotting and it turned into full on bleeding so I knew I had lost the pregnancy. It was difficult but I was thankful that it happened so early and I didn't need a d & c or anything.

After that loss I realized how much I really wanted to have another baby so we kicked the TTC into high gear. Back to the ovulation tests and crazy BDing. Luckily only 2 cycles went by and I was elated to have another BFP in April. I was on edge the first couple of weeks but finally relaxed when we had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and saw the little heartbeat. We announced it to family and a couple of our closest friends. I had read that once you see the heartbeat your chances of miscarriage drop to less than 10% so I really thought I was ok. At 10 weeks I had a bit of pink spotting but then it stopped. 2 days later same thing. Called the doctor and they reassured me it was completely normal. Finally 4 days later at 11 weeks a bit more spotting but this time red with some clotting...I knew something was not right. So on Father's day DH and I headed to the emergency room where they did an ultrasound which showed that the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. They said this just happens sometimes and that we're just having some bad luck. I had a d & c that night.

So now here I am almost 2 weeks later and still trying to make sense of this. Of course now that I've had some time to "google' things (which I know I shouldn't do) I have become really concerned that my uterine septum may have something to do with this. I have read that women with uterine septums have an increased chance of miscarriages (up to 47%) because if the baby implants on the septum (ligament at the top of the uterus) it will not get enough blood supply and nutrients. I have a doctor's appointment next week with the OB that did my d & c so will be discussing this with her. There is a surgery to correct this but then it takes 3 months for the uterus to heal before we can try to conceive again and it also leaves scar tissue which is not ideal for conceiving either. I just really don't want to have to go through another miscarriage. The doctor mentioned putting me on progesterone next time so we'll see if that helps any. And so the journey for baby #2 continues...

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davina
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Joined: 12/29/2011

Welcome Back!

i am sorry to hear of your losses Mandy. If you have a septum, talk to your doctor. From what I have read/heard, it is better to get the surgery to fix it and take the scar tissue chance than keep it. But do not quote me on it. I hope that you and your doctor are able to work out a plan of action.

I have suffered early losses as well and my doctor found my progesterone was stupid low and put me on supplements. we believe that low progesterone coupled with my endometriosis is the reason behind my constant miscarries.

GL to you.

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mandy
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So I had my doctor's appointment today and I got the usual "well you've had a healthy baby so there's no reason to think the septum had anything to do with it". Basically, she said that if I have one more miscarriage they will look into it some more. Oh sure, I have no problem going through this again! Doctors can be so frustrating. I just feel like they don't think its a big deal to have a miscarriage...its a pretty damn big deal to me and you'll excuse me if I don't welcome the idea of this happening again. At the same time, she said that having the septum fixed would leave scar tissue and that's not ideal either. Then I asked when we could try again and she said to wait for one period. I asked if it would be dangerous to try before that and she said no but its best to let your body heal...but if its not dangerous than why do I have to wait?! I was hoping to get some answers and left feeling more confused than I did before.

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davina
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Joined: 12/29/2011

That sounds frustrating Mandy. How long have you had this doctor? Did she deliver your daughter?

Your choice in doctor is huge. HUGE. especially if you have a septum and miscarry. If you feel like you are being cut short, not empathized with or not getting answers, find a new doctor. Seriously. It may be a pain in the ass, but I cannot stress choice in doctor enough.

I called literally 100+ dr offices trying to find a doctor who not only supports VBAC, but has extensive knowledge in endometriosis and early miscarries. i even had to switch medical groups/networks ( i have an hmo and have to have all my dr's in the same "network"), which meant changing my primary care doc as well. My new ob/gyn is a good 45 minutes from my house, but that office is worth the drive. They have midwives, doulas and the head ob/gyn. the appointments are long and the dr/midwives want you to ask questions. The Dr. has been very honest and open about my condition, my pregnancy, my chances of vbac etc. I trust that i am a cared for patient, not a $$$$.

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mandy
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Davina, no this is just the doctor who was on call at the hospital and did my d & c. My regular OB who delivered my daughter would know more as she saw the inside of my uterus. I'm probably going to book an appointment with her to get her opinion. I just don't know how much I want to push for the surgery...it could very well be that this has just been some bad luck. I go back and forth. I never thought I'd say this but I CAN'T WAIT FOR AF TO GET HERE. Hoping that's the last time I'll ever say that. I thought I might need some time but I really just want to get pregnant again. I'm doing pretty good most of the time...its just those moments where I see a woman with a big round belly that get to me. That and whenever I see someone having an ultrasound on TV I burst into tears. I'm hoping these bad memories will soon be replace with good ones.

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davina
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Joined: 12/29/2011

have you got an appt set up with your OB? Has AF reared her ugly head yet?

fx that you get that BFP soon

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butterfly99
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Joined: 02/24/2010

Mandy, just wanted to check in and see how you're doing...you hanging in there?
also wanted to comment on the septum. I was told by several doctors that I didn't have one, and even when I questioned it those doctors said it "may or may not" have an impact. then I was finally diagnosed with one (which I believed I had all along)...Finally found CCRM who wouldn't even consider me for IVF until we removed it... we removed it in May and I'm pregnant now! WTH?! So yeah I think my last baby implanted on the septum and passed away. Even if this baby doesn't make it (God forbid) I truly truly believe removing the septum will be helpful. I know you read my blog so you have probably read all of this already, but keep pushing... if you want it removed it should be your right to have it removed!! My mom has one and had 3 kids, but she had several miscarriages too. So yeah, it's possible, but with today's technology and medical knowledge, if something can be done than it should be...in my opinion. Wink

mandy
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Well, it's been almost 5 weeks since d & c and still no AF! WTH? I have always had very regular 28 days cycles so this is making me feel very uneasy. I took a HPT this morning just to see and it was BFN so at least I know there's no HCG left from the last pregnancy. I've read a lot that it can take 5 or 6 weeks so I'll be patient for one more week but after that I might book an appt with my doc to see if we can get things going...I just wanna start trying again. This has been the longest month of my life! And to make matters worse we just put our house up for sale so I have that added stress. Uggghhh!

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Kitterp
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Joined: 09/23/2011

It took me five weeks Mandy. Be patient. If you got a bfn....then you are in great shape. It will come.

How are you doing? I keep thinking about you.

I am having laparoscopic surgery in a few weeks to take care of what they think is endo. I will be back TTC in September.

Hoping we will be preggo buddies again soon.

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mandy
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Thanks Kitterp! I'm doing ok, getting better everyday. Good luck with your surgery! And yes, I would LOVE to be preggo buddies again! Hoping we both get our BFPs and sticky beans this fall!

Thankfully, AF decided to show up today! It's so weird being happy to get my period. Now I'm just counting down the days until I get a positive opk! As nervous as I am about getting pregnant again I hope it happens quickly! I know some women need time to grieve but I think I'm one of those people that will only truly be ok once I'm pregnant again...so TTC here we come...again!

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llr1968
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Joined: 01/13/2011

Good luck Mandy. I hope you get your bfp quickly Smile

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