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Elizabeth
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Joined: 04/24/2009

 

Welcome to the buddy program!  Since you are a new group, you might want to start with an introduction and overview of your TTC journey up until this point.

I will add new buddies to your group as they sign up.  It usually only takes a couple of days.

Have fun!

Smile

 

 

 

 

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Goldfinch
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Joined: 09/27/2010

Hello Ladies.

Well to date we have been TTCing since february. I had been on the pill for about 15 years. Which according to scientific lore, can result in an eroded cervix, which I have, but apparently doesn't affect conceiving. Spent all those years trying not to get pregnant and now that we want to, we seem to be having some trouble. I know it isn't the biggest problem, and we shouldn't worry, and that other people have it way worse, and it really hasn't been that long. But sometimes, it feels like a long time, and that it is a big deal. And I feel pretty bruised some days.

My DH for the most has been supportive in sort of a distracted way, that isn't really helpful more frustrating, we talk and he isn't really listening to what he is hearing. He is all gung ho for the trying part and then not really there for the rest of the ride.

We had a little chat the other night (I was upset and had spent too much time by myself thinking and made myself sad), and I told him I felt like a failure and that I was pretty much doing this by myself, and that since going off the pill I have felt pretty ugly cause I broke out like I was 16 again. Not really fair. I also told him I was sorry for the emotional rollercoaster we get to enjoy together. Some days anything he does makes me mad, and two minutes later happy. These hormones make you do crazy things, no control at all. All of a sudden he seemed to get it. Its like the light finally went on. Takes tears to make sure he knows I am being serious and need him to pay attention and then voila. We opened the gates to baby making and I can't close them, so he has to put up with my insanity. Smile

After being on the pill so long, I started noticing that I have had cramps mostly moderate, occassionally severe in intensity for pretty much my whole cycle, of course except CD6-11 after my period. Then the cramps get worse and then strong around ovulation, quiet down a bit, and then get nice and fun in time for my period. Awesome fun. Don't know if other people get this, maybe I am special (whatever fairy gave me this "gift" can take it away now). Anyways, I am going to ask the doctor, and see what he says.

When we started trying we were all "it will be fun and spontaneous", "we'll let it happen on its own". Ha. I started wondering if I was even ovulating after being on the pill so long. So I started using OPKs every month and am finding in the first few months I had the surge CD14 and 15, then CD15 and 16, and then CD16 and 17. Then for added fun, it went totally screwy, came on CD21 and as a result was 11 days late. What a disappointment that was. This month was CD18 and 19, and two days late. Weird.

So. We continue to try. We do all the things "they" say to do: timed right, lots of sex, used a cup to keep the swimmies in, etc etc etc. And nothing. But, try and try again. "they" also say "relax and it will happen", but you get stressed thinking something is wrong and it may not be, but why hasn't it happened to you when all your other friends have kids or are pregnant? Shut up brain.

Thanks for being my "baby buddies" and listening to me vent. I have had a long, emotional and frustrating day and am going to eat some leftover candy and go to bed with a romance novel. A really trashy one. Maybe I won't even brush my teeth.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Meg41083
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Joined: 11/01/2010

Awww...goldfinch I feel for you! TTC since February is a long time in TTC. Heck, me and my husband have only been trying for like three months and I already feel like I am a failure. I think it seems long no matter how long you have been trying because you want it so badly. The not knowing if it is you not being fertile or it just not happening is totally understandable. I mean I get the experts say you should TTC for a year and that no fertility doctor will see you unless you have been TTC for a year, but I really think that is extreme. What if something is wrong with your fertility? You have just wasted a full YEAR of TTC, the stress and worry that comes with TTC, not to mention the disappointment every month when you know you haven't conceived. It is an emotional roller coaster ride.

I'm glad the light finally went on in your DH's head. I'm sure it is going to be helpful to have him there for the full ride. It is a rough journey. DH and I also said "Oh, if it happens it happens"...I found out that once you open that door, it is very hard to be so nonchalant about it. After the second month, I was worrying about it.

DH and I have a big battle on our hands because he is gone 3/4 of the time for work. He works 8 days, off for 4..so on and so on. I looked up my ovulation calendar on this website and found out that DH isn't home for this month or next month when I ovulate...talk about being bummed. So, I had to come to a point where I said that I am going to MAKE myself relax about it and put it in God's hands b/c I can't control when DH is off and when he isn't. I know just trying to "let go" like this is not going to be an easy thing. DH has a child from a previous marriage and I can't help but to think I am failing him because his ex could give him a child, but I can't. I try not to obsess about it, but its hard to turn off your brain.

I hope you enjoy your candy and your romance novel and if you don't brush your teeth...more power to you! I hope we can become close in this journey that we are taking. It was nice talking to you Big smile

Meg41083
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Joined: 11/01/2010

Also, although my hubby isn't here very often I decided to order the FertileCM and the FertileAid to provide the most conducive environment for pregnancy. I got it off of this website. The FerticleCM makes your cevical mucus more abundant which in turn provides a better environment for the sperm and the FertileAid helps regulates cycles and is also a prenatal vitamin. I just started them this month so I can't give a review yet, but there were plenty of good reviews on both of the supplements.

MrsBerrocal
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Joined: 11/05/2010

Awww Goldfinch, I'm sooo sorry that you have to go through this Sad I'm sure you will be an amazing mama! Let us know what the doc says! My DH and I have only been TTC since the end of October :/ We're just in the beginning stages... We're actually both in University, so we're trying to have a summer baby. If we don't conceive this month or next, we're going to wait until next year. It's nice to meet you ladies, and I hope to hear more from you!!

-Ashley

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Ashley
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mamaelleable
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Joined: 11/08/2010

Hello TTCers!

My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. In 2006 we conceived our son, who will be 4 in January. We started in Nov. 2008 ttc our second child without any success. In April 2010 I had my first miscarriage, but I didn't know I was pregnant then, so it wasn't so hard to go through. Then in July 2010, I got my first BFP and was elated! 2 days later, I miscarried again. It was harder this time. I was really depressed for about a month. Seeing pregnant women just made it harder.

This year, I made buddies with a lady that was also having a hard time ttc. Last Saturday, she found out she was pregnant. I am happy for her, please don't get me wrong, but I keep thinking "why couldn't it be me"? Then she tells me that her DH's sister is prego too and due 2 days after her. Has her ttc sensitivity gone out the window now that she got her BFP?

My fiance is kind of like Goldfinch's husband. He was/is on board about trying to have another child, but he doesn't want to know about all the other stuff. I have to hide my sensitivity to it all and really can't talk to him about anything. He's one of those "it will happen when it is supposed to" and it gets really frustrating. He just doesn't get how hard it is for me. That's where you ladies come into play. I really need to talk/vent to people who can somewhat understand what I am going through.

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Meg41083
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Joined: 11/01/2010

I'm sorry mamelleable! For the miscarraiges, the insensitive person who was TTC and who did conceive, and also this hard journey you are on!

I understand what you are going through. My husband doesn't understand why I feel like I am a failure as a wife, so he just isn't as supportive as I need him to be. He really is a good husband, I just really think that he doesn't get it. Men, I suppose. Sometimes, I just wish that for once they could feel what we feel, go through what we go through, and I bet you the whole ball game would be different.

Also, my friend (who has fertility probelms) was TTC the exact same time I was and lo and behold she found out she was pregnant in October. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for her but I got so down on myself the day she told me she was pregnant. Why couldn't that be me? Why isn't it me? All of my friends have babies, my twin sister has kids, and here I am 27, almost 28 years old and I am having trouble. It really makes it hard on me because I just moved to a new state for my husband's job, we are 1200 milees away from family and friends, I have no one up here, and my husband is gone 3/4 of the month. I have nothing but time to think about it-all by myself. It can be maddening!

Goldfinch
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Joined: 09/27/2010

Nice to meet you all Meg and Mamaelleable and MrsBerrocal!

Wow can men be stupid. I think my husband is the same. He doesn't understand why I think I am failure because I am not one to him. But I feel like one. So glad other peoples husbands are the same way.

We (meaning me) didn't want to be hugely pregnant in the summer when it is so hot. I was hoping for december baby (obviously not happening) and have now resigned myself to probably august baby.

Meg, my husband travels for work as well, not as much as yours, but he will of course be gone next month when we are supposed to be making a baby. Sarcastic "Yay" here. He asked if I didn't want him to go. Of course he has to go. It is part of his job. No I don't want him to go, I want him to stay here, but it isn't really a choice either of us can make.

My friend just told me she was pregnant as well. I am really really happy for her, but really bummed out for myself. Gotta rev up my happiness, it is hard. At least with her, I don't have to pretend I am happy, I can be me and be sad and we can talk, but I don't want to take away her happiness. I asked myself the same questions "why not me?", "what is wrong with me?", "what am I doing wrong?". The worst part is the not knowing. I drive myself crazy. My husband says "don't think about it", I told him to think about if he had to #2 really bad with cramps and that he had those cramps all day everyday for almost the whole month and see if he didn't think about it all the time. Try that for stress thanks very much.

Although, my husband seems to think it may be him (laptop crotch). Which would be nice to know. I know you can buy test kits off this website, but the question is if they are reliable or not. I guess you do them and send away to be tested.

I have an anxiety disorder as well and had gone off those pills when we wanted to start trying. Boy do I feel like I want to go back on them. I feel anxious and stressed about every little thing (didn't get milk, walking the dog, making sure the iron is unplugged) and nothing - doctor calls it "non-specific anxiety", partially stemming from sleep apnea and other "life events" (friend dying). So I am a fruit loop of nerves and it can be really hard to sort out important emotions from stupid ones. Probably affecting the TTCing. I used to drink wine to relax after work. No such thing now. Non-alcholic beer just doesn't have the same effect, although really nice in the summer.

Thank God for this site. I have been poking on here for a few months and finally decided to become a buddy where we can talk and vent, and talk to others going through the same problems, without a specific thread. So nice to talk to you all.

Elizabeth
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Joined: 04/24/2009

Welcome to your newest buddy, CML!

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mamaelleable
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Joined: 11/08/2010

Hey Ladies!!!

It's about 8:30 am and I really need to vent, so...BEWARE!

I'm so pissed off! It seems like everyone and their sister is getting pregnant and having babies right now exceeeeept for ME! Geez. I've been trying for 2 whole years! When the hell is it going to be my time?

My fiance got the call this morning that his step-sister just gave birth to her twins. This girl got pregnant a month after meeting her boyfriend online. She wasn't even planning!

Why the heck can people get pregnant when they don't want to or aren't planning to, but us people that actually WANT them and PLAN to have them have the hardest dang time?!

UGH!!! Just a lil frustrated. Sorry :/

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Meg41083
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Joined: 11/01/2010

(((HUGS))) Mamaelleable! I know it is so frustrating! It just doesn't make sense! I don't blame you for being upset as I have felt this way a few times before too! I'm sorry ya'll have been trying for 2 years with no success. I can't imagine how difficult is for you. I know it is hard for me and we have only been trying for a few months now.

I have a story to go along with your story, only this couple was TRYING to get pregnant!

I was talking to my friend the other night and she just found out she was pregnant a couple of weeks ago (around the same time I got my BFN). Anyway, she told me that her and her husband were going to Babies R' Us for the first time together. She told me that her husband literally freaked out when he went into Babies R' Us because....wait for it.....it was filled with baby stuff! I mean, really?!? What did you expect to find in there, adult stuff? And these people tried to get pregnant. If you can't handle walking into a Babies R' Us without freaking out, than you don't need to have a baby! When she was telling me this, I couldn't help but to keep thinking, "These people can have a baby, but I can't". I know it was selfish of me to do, but I couldn't help myself.

Anyway, I know what you are going through and it can really get a person down. I know you have probably heard to relax and so on and so forth...but maybe that is the key? Maybe that is why it is so easy for these people who aren't planning to get pregnant, are getting pregnant? Its funny that the one thing that is the hardest for any TTC woman to do, just might be the key to it all. We try everything else...perfect timing, supplements, OPK's, BBT....maybe it is the one thing we aren't doing that is keeping us from our goal...I don't know if this is right or not, just an idea. I have put this in God's hands, but still have a VERY hard time NOT thinking about it. I think it is just the way we are built, who knows?