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butterfly99
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Joined: 02/24/2010

how are you doing Davina?? Getting ready to O? Feeling any better? Hang in there dear...it's really a vicious cycle of hope and despair.

davina
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Joined: 12/29/2011

I am supposed to O around sunday. got my opks, epts and a new razor head to shave my legs.

im trying to not focus as much on ttc. but its hard not too. my enodometrial pain is increasing with each cycle im not on BC. and we wont talk about how my periods are getting longer.

i havent made any docs appts yet. im afraid too. im afraid to admit to a persons face that my body is fukt up and that im not pregnant.

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davina
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Joined: 12/29/2011

to top it off, my aunt gave me the "maybe you are meant to adopt" lecture.

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kiwi kids
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Joined: 11/07/2011

And did you say to your aunt ''yes I do need to adopt... A new aunt who can be supportive!'' honestly when some people try to be 'helpful' they just end up hurting you more.
Very excited for you to put that shaving to use. Fingers crossed for this month my dear!

davina
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Joined: 12/29/2011

not too hopeful this month

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davina
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well my opk was positive on sunday. im sure i o'd on monday. so that puts ovulation this month at cd 15. dh and i bd'd only 2x. once on thursday and once on saturday. im not sure if that is enough. i feel like it wasn't.

im not too hopeful for this month. not because im trying to be negative, but bcuz im not too confident about dh spermies making it 2-4 days in my body.

super upset with dh. we have been talking about ttc for 3 years. all the while talking about it- saying that we needed to quit smoking before we got pregnant.

Mid november my iud was removed. by the first week f december i had quit smoking "real" cigarettes. i have been using nicotine replacement therapy since then(gum and an electric smoke-nicotine inhaler), slowly cutting back on the amount of nicotine i get a day, reducing it by more than half since then. I havent touched a real cigarette in well over 2 months.

dh is still smoking. he has an electric cigarette(nicotine inhaler) that he uses here and there. he still prefers to go smoke. every excuse in the book as to why he is having "the real thing". im not asking him to give up nicotine, which is the main addictive ingredient, im asking him to not give himself cancer, to not kill his sperm etc.

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davina
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Joined: 12/29/2011

dont get me wrong here- i smoked for over 15 years. this hasnt been easy. i appreciate how hard it is to quit. i admit to still being addicted to nicotine. i just want him to change what form he is getting his nicotine in from cigarettes to a less detrimental form

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kiwi kids
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Joined: 11/07/2011

Wow giving up after15 years is awesome, go you! Men suck huh? My parents were smokers and my mum had a hard time conceiving both my sister and I and quit smoking but couldn't get dad to give up until I was about 5... Although mum did actually smoke off and on until then as well. She has been smoke free for 25 years now and says that every now and then she still craves one but it is much easier to just ignore it.
Has DH at least cut back a little? It seems like men are never as committed to the TTC thing, maybe they aren't as emotionally invested. I spent forever trying to get my hubby to wear boxers instead of boyleg jockeys but nope he likes his bits all secure and not 'flapping in the breeze' whatever!
I have hope for you this month, it is always easier to have hope for other people than yourself I think.

davina
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Joined: 12/29/2011

3dpo long way to go until i can test.

been crampy yesterday and today. not sure if it is my imaginatin or not. it could be gas. i did eat peanuts yesterday

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davina
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Joined: 12/29/2011

peanut, peanut butter and jelly jelly jelly.

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