481 replies [Last post]
davina
Offline
Joined: 12/29/2011

**comments are more than welcome and yes i am nuts**
*and this first post will be a novel and maybe TMI. sorry*

Where do I begin? I guess it makes sense for me to start from the very beginning.
I started getting my periods when I was 9. This wasn't at all unusual in my family and it was also normal to have rly horrific cycleswas not uncommon for me to be in school and bleed through everything. Again this was normal for women in my family. I learned to deal with it.
Fast forward to H.S. I was finally aware, or atleast this is the first time i can remember, where i noticed the pain with my periods. I went to a gyn and was put on bc. the doctor also told me that my cervix and pelvic area were incredibly small and i would nvr be able to pass a child through it. sounded like crap to me, i took my bc pills and went on with life.
At 18 I had my first miscarriage and d&c. I was only a few months along and honestly at that point in my life, was releaved. I was 18, in college and clubbing it up in the city. i was on the pill when i got pregnant.
Not too long after i noticed more pain through out my cycle as well as pain during sex. I was so young and stupid. i was more concerned about pain during sex than increase in pain through out the month. At 19, I made an appt with my gyn and we decided to do a laparoscopy to see wtf was going on. He found endometriosis through out my abdomen, lazered it out, closed me up and that was it. He told me at that point in time that i would have a hard time having children. he wanted to put me in menapause, but at that age i was not interested in those kind of treatments.
At 21 i was pregnant again, while on the pill(of course i stopped taking it when i missed my period and got a bfp). I was ok with being a single mom at the time. I knew my bf at the time wouldnt support me and would ask for an abortion, which i refused to do. we had actually broken up. Things were ok, but at 16 weeks, i lost the baby. I was devastated, but focused instead on finishing college, telling myself the timing must've been wrong.
A few months later I met my husband. I found a new doctor. My endometriosis/adenomiosis was out of control. so we had another couple operations, and a hystersalpingogram amongst other things. my doc told us that with my endometriosis, my window for a baby was closing and with each year that passed, my chances got more slim.
I was pregnant within a week, literally the week i stopped taking my pill. I will spare you the details of how many complications and things went wrong during the pregnancy(preeclampsia amongst other things). I am just high risk so to speak. But we were blessed May 7th 2004 with an 11lb 11oz baby boy, our son Tonas.
After tonas was born i had another round of operations for the endometriosis/adenomiosis and just enjoyed being a mom for a few years. We decided to have another baby and maybe try for a girl. When I was 25 we went to a fertility specialist to talk about options. we decided to do another surgery so he could asses any new damage to my system from my disease since the last procedures etc. we were also talking about ivf because sex is incredibly painful for me and still is for that matter. The day of the operation, while in my gown waiting to be wheeled into the op room, my doc walked in the room and canceled. i had tested pregnant when they took the typical preop blood work and pee.
i almost lost the pregnancy. i was on hormones for 6 months. everything went wrong and again i was high risk and had pre eclampsia. Joey was born February 6th 2007, weighing 7lbs7oz. he was born via emergency c section at 34 weeks gestation. he almost died a few times during his 2 weeks in the NICU. My second MIRACLE is going to be 5 in a few weeks.
I had an IUD put in after joeys birth. and over the next 3 years assumed i would never have any more children. It wasnt until we bought our house a few years ago and got settled in our home that i started thinking about babies again. i have always wanted a big family. we started talking to doctors. and no one says I cant. every doctor we have talked to says im healthy enough, that we can try. they say medicine and treatments are so different now than 5 years ago. I can do this!
So this last nov 17 my uid was surgically removed. they couldnt get it out the first few times. it was kinda embedded but i was ok. i dont know if i got a period in november bcuz the iud was removed a week or two b4 i was supposed to get it and i was bleeding from the uid.
december dh and i rly started ttc. and we succeeded in a chemical pregnancy(bfp 10dpo) that was not successful. Got my AF 5 days after it should have come anyways with BFNS right before my period came.

__________________

Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

davina
Offline
Joined: 12/29/2011

now it is january. im supposed to ovulate around the 9th or 10th. Im hoping we get pregnant and stay pregnant this month

__________________

Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

BabiesRUS2010
BabiesRUS2010's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/26/2009

Wow your story is full of miracles! GL on your journey for your big family. I never had endometriosis but I can only imagine your frustration and the physical pain it has caused.

__________________

When the world says "Give Up", Hope whispers "Try one more time".

davina
Offline
Joined: 12/29/2011

i just pray that i am able to get pregnant. we dont know what happened inside me the last 5 years. i havent had any operations or treatments. so we are not sure what stage my endo is in now or what damage to my fertility it has done.

__________________

Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

butterfly99
butterfly99's picture
Offline
Joined: 02/24/2010

Davina wow what an incredible story thanks for sharing!! You have gone through so much. It's frustrating because it seems like you can conceive but are having a hard time keeping the pregnancies. I wonder if you could go to a different specialist or even consult with a nauturopath or do maya fertility massage, to help increase your chances. I have had 2 chemicals and 1 miscarriage so my heart goes out to you as well for your losses... it's so hard!! GL to you!

davina
Offline
Joined: 12/29/2011

If dh and i go another month or two unsuccessfully, then i will find a specialist. i currently do not have an ob gyn as of Jan 1(new medical ins). They say to wait 1 yr of ttc before going to see a specialist, but with all my issues, I can skip that timeframe.

i have been on prenatals since november and this month i took soy isoflavones the first 5 days of my cycle to help ovulation. I have my ot strips and ept's.

im just so scared. up until the last 2 years, i have been told i cannot have children pretty much my whole life.

I know i have 2 beautiful boys that i am so grateful for. 2 children that i was told i would never have. even after i had tonas, i was told there would be no #2 w/o fetrility help.

after joey, i got the iud and stopped going to doctors for years. i would only go to get my annual pap. it was too hard to hear how i wouldnt have more children, but had to wait to get a hysterectomy bcuz i was too young. and for years i had accepted that i wouldnt be able to have any more. that my 2 miracles were all i would have due to my disease.

I was ok with that. I had gone through the trauma and heartache of not being able to have children. of feeling like a broken woman. the feeling of being empty. and that unending heartache of needing a baby. the whole body ache a woman feels when she yearns to be pregnant and be a mother and have a baby.

even after two children, that yearning has never gone away. now hear I am, 5 years later. scared to death i wont be able to maintain a pregnancy.

please god! i quit smoking, i lost weight, we are finally stable.

__________________

Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

davina
Offline
Joined: 12/29/2011

i know i can get pregnant. and i know dh has good swimmers. i just don't stay pregnant very well. my body does very bad at making hormones that maintain pregnancy. with joey it was progesterone i think. i was on all sorts of that crap from icicle suppositories to pill form. fun times(man was i moody).

it has just been difficult. i feel like i was given this ray of hope over the last 2 years. dh and i waited for things at home to settle. we could have started trying 2 years ago when my doc and gyn said i was healthy enuf. we bided our time, waited for things to fall into place.

im so scared that the one time i am told i can get pregnant, that i wont be able too.

__________________

Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

davina
Offline
Joined: 12/29/2011

i can even try for a vbac if the pregnancy goes normally. A VBAC!!!! I have so wanted to have a baby vaginally. i know it sounds psychotic. c sections suck imho. i dont want another section.

__________________

Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

davina
Offline
Joined: 12/29/2011

im supposed to o any day now. still no positive opk. been BD a lot the last few days. almost to the 2ww. praying this month is successful

__________________

Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

davina
Offline
Joined: 12/29/2011

just took my opk for the day. im seeing double pink lines. the o line is lighter than the control line but it is def there. normally my opk tests only have 1 line. so im thinking if i dont o tmrw, that the opk tmrw will have both lines the same dark shade.

__________________

Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

davina
Offline
Joined: 12/29/2011

baby dance baby dance. praying to god to bless us with a baby!

__________________

Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers