What To Do With That BFN.......... AGAIN!!!!


negative pregnancy test

This TTC (trying-to-conceive) journey is definitely a crazy ride sometimes. You can go from feeling hopeful and excited to exhausted and defeated within the same day. Who am I kidding? These emotions can change within the hour or even the minute. 

There is nothing more heartbreaking than looking down at that BFN (big fat negative) yet AGAIN after being so sure that you were pregnant.
 
You had taken your FertilAid, drank your Fertile Tea, gotten a positive surge on your ovulation strips, made sure to have sex during your fertile period, visited your acupuncturist, splurged on a massage, ate healthy, cut out caffeine and had positive thoughts the entire month!!! 
 
And sure enough as the end of your cycle drew near; you noticed sore breasts, bloating and felt soooooo tired. This was going to be the magical month that would finally end with a little bean growing inside of you!!!
 
You barely sleep at night, coming up with ways to surprise you husband with the wonderful news. You imagine his reaction….. excitement, relief, overcome with emotion. 
 
You think about how you are going to decorate the baby’s room. And then while walking by the closet, decide to pull out the little (gender neutral)  onesie that you bought the other day at the store…. just to look at it.
 
After this perfect TTC month, how can you not feel so gut wrenchingly heartbroken and sad when that single line is staring you right in the face. It is hard to not just throw in the towel and scream, “I GIVE UP!!” at the top of your lungs.
 
But then after having a good cry, followed by some ice cream and a glass of wine, you are able to step back and take a deep breath. And as the sun comes up and the new day begins you decide to bravely put on your happy face, regroup and start all over again. It is at that moment that you look out the window and see a mom with her baby walking by; just as you are getting ready to head out the door. Although the tears start flowing down you cheeks again, it is this moment that makes you remember why you are putting yourself and your husband through this emotional and physical roller coaster.
 
It is to one day hold your sweet baby in your arms.
To sing her a lullaby as your rock her to sleep.
To gaze into her eyes and whisper how much you love her…… and always will.
 
It is to be a mom.
To have your heart so full of unconditional love that it could burst.
Just to be a mom……..

Comments

7 months? 5 Months? Try 5 Years of every month hoping and praying that this is the month things will finally work out like they should. My relatives have had babies, my friends have had babies and I am expected to be there and to be happy for them! I want to pull my hair out EVERY MONTH. Im glad you ladies have gotten lucky enough to have children and someday I hope my DH and I will be that lucky too. I have a DS from first marriage but my DH and I can't seem to make it work. Of course we dont have insurance to cover the 10,000 needed for IVF and someone once said to me if you cant afford IVF how can you afford to have a baby. Of course that was hateful and I havent spoken to that person for a long time either but One day god will answer my prayers. This little write up or story is so true. Every few months I have all the symptoms and think this is it! Of course its not and I break down in to tears and tell my DH how sorry I am that I am a failure. Its not even me with the problem but I try to take the blame so he doesn't get discouraged either.
Sad

Anonymous — Oct 05, 2011
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7 months? 5 Months? Try 5 Years of every month hoping and praying that this is the month things will finally work out like they should. My relatives have had babies, my friends have had babies and I am expected to be there and to be happy for them! I want to pull my hair out EVERY MONTH. Im glad you ladies have gotten lucky enough to have children and someday I hope my DH and I will be that lucky too. I have a DS from first marriage but my DH and I can't seem to make it work. Of course we dont have insurance to cover the 10,000 needed for IVF and someone once said to me if you cant afford IVF how can you afford to have a baby. Of course that was hateful and I havent spoken to that person for a long time either but One day god will answer my prayers. This little write up or story is so true. Every few months I have all the symptoms and think this is it! Of course its not and I break down in to tears and tell my DH how sorry I am that I am a failure. Its not even me with the problem but I try to take the blame so he doesn't get discouraged either.
Sad

Anonymous — Oct 05, 2011
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When I read this write-up, I felt the person who wrote it knew me personally: cos that's exactly the way I felt when I was trying for my first baby. We tried for five months and nothing happened In the sixth month, God answered our prayers and we have gone on to have two more children after that. Now I have 3 lovely children to show for it.

I just want to encourage moms out there. There's nothing you're going through someone else hasn't gone through but hang in there. Your season will surely come. If God did it for me, He sure will do it for you for He hasn't changed one single bit.

Right now I'm trying for my fourth child and I'll believe it will come in due time.

Stay blessed and Good Luck!

Anonymous — Sep 09, 2011
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I've been trying for 7 months now and still nothing. We are trying for our second baby.

Lizzie0103 — Mar 01, 2011
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I am 21 and this has happened to me once I get excited for a missed period and 3 months later it back Sad its very disappointing.... but I can't loose my hope and faith

Anonymous — Oct 21, 2010
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