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faithful
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aww thanks Butterfly you are so nice Smile and you are so right!!! where can i get that book ? it sounds interesting and i will be buying some ovulation strips . BTW how are you doing ?
i hope everything its well with the other ladies i miss them already Sad

- take care huns

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butterfly99
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Your local library would probably have it... or Amazon, Borders, Barnes and Noble... you can order through all of those websites too so you don't have to go in if you don't want.

I'm doing ok today... 12DPO and my husband gets home from camping today...I made it through the last couple days without testing, which is a small but large feat for me. I want to test sooooooo badly! I think I will tonight, or definitely tomorrow morning.

I got some incredibly good news last night.. 2 of our best friends just booked tickets to come to Italy with us in July. I was over the moon excited! We are going for 3 weeks and they will come for 1 week of that. So to be honest, I am feeling OK about this BFN (assuming it will be a BFN this month)....I mean don't get me wrong, if it's positive, I will be overjoyed, but now that we have travel buddies (and we've for years talked about traveling with them) I really will be completely OK if it's not! So maybe getting the news last night is God's way of helping me deal with the BFN....we shall see.

I'm going tomorrow for an energy reading...I've been learning so much about holistic and traditional chinese medicine, really fascinating! Will let everyone know how it goes.

bbdreams
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Hi Buddies!

I hope everyone is doing well this weekend!

Faithful: I feel like I learn new things everyday about TTC! It's amazing how much info is out there. I signed on at Fertility Friend in order to help me chart my cycles. But I really like the little 'Lessons' that they send every few days to your email. They contain a lot of information about the what you can do to help with your TTC journey, info about understanding our bodies throughout our cycles, clues our bodies give us when we are the most fertile, etc. I found the information very useful; it may be another source of information for you.

Butterfly99, yay on the travel buddies! That sounds so awesome! Vacations sounds so wonderful and even better with friends! Have a great time! Kudos on waiting to test too. That takes a ton of willpower, but I understand wanting to wait for the hubby to get home. Keeping my fingers crossed for ya, Sista!

As for the Chinese herbs, I'm taking 'Wu Jie Bai Feng Wan'.........yeah, what the heck is that?? It has various herbs for liver qi and to help the spleen and female repro tract. I think if you google it, some websites will give you the ingredients of what's actually found in there. I take it the entire cycle and was told to stop once I had a BFP. Sooooooo, still taking it.......But I will ask the fertility specialist about it too, just in case. I can't wait until you post tomorrow about your energy reading. It sounds so facinating!!

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butterfly99
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Hi Ladies
BFN again this month. Finding it increasingly hard to be optimistic. Sandy, I read a little about that herb blend and I think I'm going to order some! Sounds great.

So the next couple months we're taking a TTC break. I'm going to do a cleanse, maybe get back on antidepressants, and try to get a little healthier spiritually. I don't really know how this will go, or if we will start using BC just for the peace of mind. Need to go to the doctor this week.

It sucks that BFNs come during the same time as PMS! I'm at work just a mess today, and can't wait for this day to be over already. It's also hard to live in this bubble, and not be able to share what's going on inside...then I think I should just suck it up...I'm not alone in this world, other people struggle way more than I do, so I should count my blessings. Of course that doesn't help me deal with it in the moment. I just want to run and hide right now.

faithful
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Smile HEY GALS .

Butterfly that its AWSOME ! i am happy for you i know you guys will have so much fun .
I would love to go to Italy i love traveling but i haven't been traveling alot but my dream is to travel all over the world hahaha it just feels great when you are going through some rough times and you get to breath fresh air and enjoy other cultures ect , its a very amazing feeling Big smile and thanks about the info of the book i will sure get that book and let you know .

Sandy ,
thanks so much for the info also and yes its good to learn more things about TTC , it helps alot. will you be buying the fertilaid?

Ladies i wanted to share a dream i had last night i honestly thought it was so REAL , and it felt so good! i have NEVER had a vivid dream like that it felt like i was really touching my baby's and smelling them . So weird . In my dream i had twins a girl and a boy they were so adorable the girl looked just like me while the boy looked like my hubby! they were super adorable omg i remember i was so happy and people were happy for me they said how my baby's were so beautiful , and i saw my baby's smiles and everything it was just a beautiful but weird dream . Sadly i woke up Sad and realized how much i want this to really happened . I feel super sad today , Ugh i just know how happy a baby will make me feel . . .i am just hoping to God that one day i can have a family . I know people say your 22 your still young . But to me it feels like i am already old seen most of my friends are 20 21 17 18 and they already have kids . ( Sorry girls if i keep whining ) i just have to let it all out , Thanks so much for lisening . I wish this was my month but i know it won't be . God Bless !

ps . what do you think baby dreams are about ? what do they mean ?

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faithful
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butterfly ,

i just saw your new post right now . I am so sorry about your N and i understand how you feel .
Nothing that i say will make you feel better but just know that you are not alone , you have us and we are in this together . I know that every month we know its going to be a N but we hope to be a P i think you should relax and enjoy your trip and all of that good stuff i know its not gonna be easy to forget what you really want . every month there is two dissapointments 1. gettin that BFN and 2 . your period UGH ! what more can we ask for . it sucks but i hope you feel better and God bless you . i haven't stopped praying for you

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butterfly99
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Thanks Faithful.... it's really nice to know people care and truly do understand... it really is nice to have wonderful women with whom to share this journey... misery loves company right? Smile

over the weekend I opened up to another friend of mine, and (since she has never been through this) I kind of felt like I was defending my feelings and myself... rehashing the last 18 months to someone who doesn't really understand is tough and not necessarily productive! So glad I can just get on here and vent/cry/etc and not worry about people not understanding!

I think our dreams can be incredibly powerful and meaningful. I do know that a birthing dream -physically giving birth- is symbolic of a new beginning in your own life. A new chapter.

I had a dream like that on Thursday...in my dream I actually had 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl...I don't know what it means, but maybe God is just trying to tell us to be patient and he will reward.

faithful
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butterfly ,

that makes sense about the reward Smile and i am glad you feel happy posting how you feel knowing we will understand you . We are all in this together Smile i watched a video on youtube called "everyone has a story" and honestly it has changed my whole way of thinking . It is a touching story and alot of people take things for granted and are not thankful of what they have , i need to be thankful more even if i don't have everything i want like i said before God knows what his doing and he won't give you something you can't handle . He has control of our lifes and there is nothing we can do about it just wait and be thankful for what he gives us . From this day on i promise myself to be thankful and happy for what i have and forget what i don't have . And i will hope for the best and have faith because faith moves mountains i am so glad i watched that video and i had no idea what was it about God is amazing i know he wanted me to watch that video i can feel it , THANK YOU GOD for always giving me a message to stay strong and be grateful i don't want to disapoint him ! i will stay strong and the same goes to all of you girls ! there are people out there with worse situation and bigger situation .We will all get our bundle of joy lets stay having faith , lets stay strong ! i am here for all of you girls . if you want to watch the video here is the link and let me know what you think about it Smile MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND KEEP YOU SAFE UNDER HIS WINGS ! here is the link copy and paste it on top and watch it Come back here and share how you feel after watching this . . .

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faithful
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sorry ladies it dosen't let me post the link to the video ! ugh that is so weird but is there a way that i can send you gals the link ? i really want you gals to watch this video

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Lisa K
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Butterfly, I had a dream like that about a month ago. I had a dream I was in labor and I had to have a c-section. It was kind of scarey. I've always wanted to have a baby natural. But as I always say. " good things come to those who wait" I pray for all of you. One day we'll all have our little precious babies. I don't know how much more patience I have on waiting LOL. So I don't have to much to say today. I can say something somewhat funny. I went to the store yesterday looking for my raspberry leaf tea. Well, I saw raspberry tea. I thought it was the right one. I was so excited to get home and drink it. Well, come to find out. I bought the wrong one. I actually bought raspberry tea. I'm a blonde and I'll blame it on that LOL. Jk. My dh laughed at me and called me a goof. Well, hope all is well with all of you.